Mama Wisdom 001- Be Who Ya Wanna Be

 

Welcome to the first installment of Mama Wisdom.  This is going to be little bits of information that I’ve figured out the hard way, and want to share with my daughters (and others) in the hopes that they will not have to make the same mistakes I’ve made, or suffer through hardships and pain.

Today’s topic is about self-esteem.  I have had very low self-esteem most of my life, and I can easily look back now and see it as a very big portion of why I made some of the mistakes I’ve made over the years.  For instance, I never got very much attention from boys in school, so after I graduated, I jumped at the very first guy to act like he liked me.  And I married him about a year later.  I saw signs before we married that said he was possessive and possibly violent, but I twisted them around in my head to be him showing how much he loved me.

Things only got worse after we got married, and I ended up living with horrible physical and mental abuse for four years.  I didn’t tell anyone for quite some time, because I was so embarrassed that I’d made such a big mistake.  And with the psychological abuse, I came to believe I couldn’t get away and things could never get better for me.  But I was wrong.

It’s very hard to see past a situation like that when you’re stuck right down in the middle of it, but things CAN change.  Not just circumstances, but people, too.  It doesn’t have to be a story like mine.  There are any number of scenarios that could be written down here.  And maybe you were abused, or maybe you were the one doing something wrong, but that’s just who you are NOW.  Today.  You can be any way you want to be TOMORROW.  It’s true!

What kind of person do you WANT to be?  Do you want to be strong?  Do you want to be fearless?  Do you want to be a better mother or an upstanding citizen?  Then do it!  There’s nothing stopping you, but you!

Let’s say you want to be a better mom.  Imagine someone you know that you would like to be like.  And tomorrow, pretend!  Yes, pretend to be that other mom.  Ask yourself, what would she do in this situation?  And then, the next tomorrow, do the same thing.  After a while, you’ll realize, that you ARE that better mother now, too!

I’m not saying it’s going to be easy.  Change can be very hard sometimes.  But you just take it one day to the next.  Take it one HOUR to the next, if you have to.  But BE who you WANT to be!  And BELIEVE that you deserve to be that, because EVERYONE deserves to live their dreams.  Even so-called “bad” people.  All those amazing people we look up to and aspire to be like, have all done “bad” things from time to time, but they did better TOMORROW!  And so can YOU!

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A Fresh Start on a Budget

 

Sincerely, Paula